oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
