I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
