M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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