Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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