You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
