Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
