ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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