If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
