He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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