Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
