brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
