The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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