Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
