Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila? http://tfl.nu/4qsv
  Replies (1) Good night (990) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  No. You're kidding.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth. http://tfl.nu/fp67
  Replies (37) Good night (769) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis" http://tfl.nu/kjwy
  Replies (12) Good night (7150) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall. http://tfl.nu/weml
  Replies (24) Good night (6020) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand. http://tfl.nu/9289
  Replies (7) Good night (4322) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix http://tfl.nu/hrwb
  Replies (22) Good night (910) Bad night (3146)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week. http://tfl.nu/6t8r
  Replies (16) Good night (3582) Bad night (1441)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom. http://tfl.nu/uq6s
  Replies (22) Good night (6718) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (365): View more from

  I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (365): I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors. http://tfl.nu/2m9c
  Replies (1) Good night (3461) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers http://tfl.nu/q3tc
  Replies (7) Good night (2168) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/kzf1
  Replies (5) Good night (2308) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater. http://tfl.nu/rsqd
  Replies (4) Good night (1576) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life. http://tfl.nu/oxrc
  Replies (5) Good night (692) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun. http://tfl.nu/ptqr
  Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis. http://tfl.nu/yg5k
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (231)

Randomize