Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(