So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
