I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
