Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
