Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
