I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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