i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
