He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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