Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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