The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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