I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she told me i tasted like america
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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