I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
