I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
