Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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