How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize