I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There r osticjed everywhere
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
