I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
