My cat gives me a boner
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
