oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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