I saw his package. It spoke to me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
