she looked like the bat from fern gully.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
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The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
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I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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