Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
