Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
