3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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