puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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