I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
