Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
