They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
