Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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