I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Vodka?
Forever.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
pray to the hookup gods
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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