Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
