i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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