I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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