i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3pm strippers are depressing
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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