She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
