So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and she was petting her beer can
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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