that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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