Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
