CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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