your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
