I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
