Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
