I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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