did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Someone signed my nipple.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
