Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
