Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
