yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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