I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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