Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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