Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize